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Real Dead Housewives of Seattle


A wealthy socialite named Taylor sits on her deck, talking to a friend on the phone when the doorbell rings. She answers, and a man introduces himself as Alex Towne, real-estate agent. He has a client looking for a house like her, she tells him that she and her husband aren’t looking to sell their home. When he tells her that his client is willing to pay ten million dollars, she allows him in. Once on the deck, Alex attacks Taylor, and in the struggle they both go off the edge of the deck, falling onto the rocks far below.

In the morgue, Ravi, Clive, and Liv discuss Taylor over her corpse. She was the second wife of Terrance Fowler, who owns a chain of discount liquor stores. The fall broke Taylor’s neck, but Alex apparently survived, though he is comatose and the odds don’t look good. Alex Towne was not his real name, he is a thief named Joe Fercano. Joe had info on Taylor on him, including her Pilates schedule, so Clive thinks he was hired to kill Taylor. 

As usual, Clive thinks the husband is guilty, but is having trouble arranging a meeting. He does have one scheduled with the real Alex Towne later. Liv agrees to come, but also wants to go out with Clive and Ravi for fun on Friday. Ravi says no, he’s dating Stephanie, who he met at the club. Clive just claims he’s “Busy.”

Liv eats Taylor’s brains mixed into a bowl of fruit loops.

Major is uses the gym at Max Rager when Gilda interrupts. She and Vaughn are not happy with Major’s results, which seem to mostly involve him claiming the list is wrong, the people on it are not zombies. Gilda informs Major that Vaughn’s original plan was to kill every suspected zombie without even checking to see if they’re human first. If Major drags his feet, all the lives on the list could be killed.

Clive and Liv interview the real Alex Towne, a woman, at Clive’s desk. Clive suspects her card was stolen at an open house, but she hosts multiple open houses every week. Liv chats with Alex about her purse until Clive hands Alex a mugshot of Joe. She does recognize him, she threw him out of an open house when she caught him snooping in a nightstand. Turns out the house she was showing at this time was Vaughn’s.

Major just barely makes it into an elevator before the door closes, the only other person inside is a young man in a suit. Both bury their faces in their phones, but when Major’s hair stands on end, he realizes he is sharing the elevator with a zombie.

The same young man is jogging with his dog in a park that night. A man follows, then injects him in the neck with a syringe. It’s Major.

Major drives with the radio on and the dog beside him. The man yells from the trunk, begging for his life. Major rips off the dog’s tags and toss them out the window, then turns up the radio.

On the same bridge and in the same manner as last time, Major shoots and dumps the zombie.

At the morgue, Clive and Ravi are mid-discussion when Liv walks in, wearing a designer dress. She wants to go after Vaughn, but Clive doesn’t see a motive. He still thinks it was Terrance, who is coming in after all. Turns out he serves on the Max Rager board, so Clive wants to interview Vaughn to get dirt on Terrance. Liv tries to give Clive fashion advice, and he is confused, as usual.

In Vaughn’s office at Max Rager, Clive and Liv interview Vaughn about Terrance and Taylor. Liv is aggressive and questions Vaughn about Joe being at the open house, but Vaughn shows no reaction. Suddenly, Liv has a vision. Taylor and Vaughn were having an affair. Liv calls him on it, but Vaughn denies it. When Vaughn implies that Taylor was older than he likes, Liv takes it personally, crying and throwing her water at Vaughn, claiming to not be his “little whore.” As Liv and Clive exit Vaughn’s office, they run into Major. 

Major tries to be polite, but Liv dismisses him and Clive decides to question Major about the explosion at Meat Cute. Major deflects, and Liv asks for a moment and pulls Major to the side. She wants to know how Major can work for Vaughn. He inisists that he needs to job, accuses her of over-reacting, and calls her ridiculous. Liv slaps him in the face, while Vaughn and Clive watch and Gilda (secretly) listens. Liv apologizes, blaming Taylor’s brain.

After Vaughn and Major walk away, Clive asks Liv about her vision, and she confirms the affair. Gilda is still listening. Terrance’s lawyer texts Clive, pushing back the meeting. Clive and Liv decide to go to Joe’s regular job and try to find out how he was hired, and whether Terrance or Vaughn did the hiring.

At the shop where Joe installed car stereos, his co-workers don’t recognize photos of Vaughn or Terrance. But they mention that Joe recently made a house call for a rich mystery man. Only the manager knows the client’s name, and he is out of town for a few days. Clive leaves his card, wanting the manager to call when he gets back. 

As they leave, Clive gets word that Terrance is willing to meet. Liv tries to get Clive to bring the car to her, because of her very high heels, but he won’t do it.

At Terrance’s house, in full view of the deck where Taylor fell, Clive and Liv talk to Terrance and his lawyer. Terrance, with his lawyer’s urging, claims he and Taylor were happy, planning an anniversary trip. When Terrance can’t remember his alibi, his assistant Meg (who is also present) reminds him that he was with his personal stylist. Clive asks Terrance about Taylor and Vaughn’s affair, catching Terrance by surprise. He angrily punches through a glass table, and his lawyer ends the meeting.

Liv notes that Terrance’s reaction seemed like he didn’t know about the affair, but Clive counters by pointing out Terrance clearly is capable of violence. And might now be after Vaughn.

In his own home, Vaughn comes across Gilda. She is upset he slept with Taylor, because Terrance is the swing vote on the board. Vaughn is surprised Gilda knew, and she seems to not understand how Liv found out. Turns out, Gilda is Vaughn’s daughter, the product of another affair with a married woman.

Major stops mid-workout at the Max Rager gym to take a hit of utopium. He goes back to lifting weights just as Gilda enters. She flirts while doing yoga poses. He tries to ignore her, but before long they’re making out and undressing.

Clive and Liv are in the office of Terrance’s stylist. Clive questions the stylist, but Liv just wants to talk about the view and shoes. Clive eventually gets them back on topic by asking about Taylor. The stylist calls some of Taylor’s friends “great dressers, awful people.” 

In the interrogation room at the police station, Clive and Liv separately question Taylor’s friends. They are catty and mostly interested in gossiping about each other, which Liv loves. They both eventually reveal that Terrance had been meeting younger women on a sugar daddy website, and punched a hole in the wall because he found out Taylor was cheating on him. This gives Liv another visions, of Terrance furious, not about the affair itself, but that it was with Vaughn. Clive recognizes that Liv’s had a vision and asks her about it privately. She tells him that Terrance punching the table was an act.

In the morgue, Liv tells Ravi about Major working for Max Rager. He’s surprised Major didn’t tell him. Liv suddenly has a Real Housewives style meltdown, wanting attention. And wine and chocolate. She snaps out of it when she sees what Ravi is watching on TV, the DA making an announcement about a task force to crack down on utopium. Lead by Peyton, who has apparently returned without telling Liv or Ravi. Liv is upset, but Ravi encourages her to let Peyton back into her life, whenever Peyton is ready.

The stylist, Bethany, calls Liv. She found the shoes she and Liv had discussed earlier and invites Liv to try them on.

In Liv’s room Bethany goes through her closet and encourages Liv to be more stylish. Bethany compliments one dress, but it is actually Peyton’s. The two of them drink wine and trash talk Taylor’s friends before Bethany invites Liv to an exclusive sale the next day.

Liv walks up to Clive’s desk the next day wearing the shoes and Peyton’s dress. He shows her a binder of all the women Terrance contacted online, which Liv refers to as “a catalogue of skanks.” Clive asks Liv to join him meeting Joe’s boss, who is back in town. She tells him she is taking a “me day” and punching out early.

Liv meets Bethany at the store, and tells the clerk to start a tab. He notices on her id that it is Liv’s birthday, which she forgot about. Bethany and Liv make dinner plans to celebrate.

At the shop, Clive shows the manager Terrance’s photo and asks about Joe’s special client. The manager says the client was not Terrance, he was a pro-football player. The manager mentions that Joe had a new girlfriend, and Clive shows pictures of Taylor’s friends. The manager says the girl was more of a skank. Clive remembers Liv’s earlier comment and asks the manager to look at the catalogue of skanks he has in the car.

Liv tries on a dress for Bethany, then sends her to find a dress for herself. Liv thinks about how great it is to find a new friend when her phone suddenly buzzes. Liv puts the phone on speaker. It’s Clive, who now thinks Bethany was the one who hired Joe. Liv turns off the speaker and hides in a changing room to ask Clive for details. Bethany met Terrance on the website a year and a half earlier, using the name Harmony. She was also Joe’s girlfriend.

Liv changes back into Peyton’s dress as Clive reveals that Terrance hired Bethany to cover how much money he spent on her, including her apartment and clothes. Liv confesses she is shopping with Bethany and tells Clive which store they are at. Clive tells Liv to keep Bethany there, he’s sending backup.

Bethany asks Liv to do her zipper, then elbows Liv in the face and starts to run. Liv tackles her into a shoe display. Bethany hits Liv with pepper spray, causing Liv to go into full zombie mode. She beats Bethany unconscious before gaining control of herself.

Bethany sits in the interrogation room. Clive is conducting the interview when Liv walks in, wearing her normal casual clothes. Liv and Clive review Bethany’s entire plan, use Joe to get the dirt on Taylor and Vaughn’s affair, then kill Taylor and marry Terrance. They have also found warrants on her in three other states for scamming rich older men.

Ravi comes home and calls out to Major. The dog from his zombie victim runs out, to Ravi’s surprise. He starts to ask Major about the dog, when Peyton walks into the room. Major excuses himself and leaves them alone. Peyton apologizes for leaving. Ravi tells Peyton that he knows about Liv as well, as does Major. They hug.

Liv sadly buys herself a drink and lies to the clerk that her friends are celebrating with her. She goes home to drink, and finds a birthday cake in the fridge. Gilda walks up, she’d had no idea that it’s Liv’s birthday. Gilda describes the girl who dropped off the cake, she had a beauty mark by her lip. Peyton.

Vaughn practices Tai Chi in his office. Terrance walks in. He tells Vaughn that he has the votes for a hostile takeover. Terrance had been setting it up for weeks, since he found out about the affair. Vaughn convinces Terrance to come down to his secret lab. In the lab, Vaughn locks Terrance in a room, and set a zombie on him. One that does not look able to blend into society. The zombie violently kills Terrance while Vaughn watches.